30 Days of SEX


Is this something for you? Will it help your relationship? Boost your libido?
Questions I’m trying to find the answer to.

I have seen all kinds of 30 day challenges in the last year. – Diet challenges, Fitness challenges, Facebook challenges.
Mine is a little different.

My 30 day challenge is a SEX challenge. – I know… 90% of my readers just left… (it’s ok, that only totals up to like 2 people)

I first heard about a woman doing this challenge on the Steve Harvey Show.
Here is the link: 30 day SEX challenge.

I’m going to have to back up a little and explain why… then I’ll explain how..


My sex life is nearly non-existent. It wasn’t always, but after getting pregnant with Zolie it sure is!
At least I got a kid out of it.

We had a great sex life as teenagers when we started dating. – I’m talking about an everyday type of thing.
Dr. Phil always says there is no such thing as a “normal” sex life, I see his point, so I’m going to keep “normal” out of my vocabulary.
After moving in together it became more of a 4 times-a-week sex life. – husband complains
Years pass, we get married, and it’s 2-3 times-a-week average.  – husband complains more

Even though J (John, my husband) complains, I don’t feel that I’m at fault. After moving in together we both become very busy, work, business, and household chores really take up a lot of time. We both get up early and go to bed super tired…

But it gets worse. We decide to try for a baby. – and have tons of sex while trying.
After getting pregnant, and loosing the baby “trying” becomes less fun, more work. Sex becomes timed based on ovulation schedules and hormones. I’m sure a lot of women understand what we went through.
After several pregnancies, fertility doctors, and being poked and prodded through out the two year experience we finally have a baby.
The pregnancy was a scary time for me, and my libido was 0 through out.
We didn’t have much sex during pregnancy and that just seemed to continue after.

Z is  now 5 months old… and after another late night argument I thought of that Steve Harvey show I watched.
My husband was ALL FOR IT. But it seemed like a lot of work on my part…
Then I read something:

“We spend countless hours a day doing this and that, what’s 15 minutes out of our day to spend on our relationship”

So, I did a little research and found the guidelines to this challenge.


• Have sex at least 5 days a week, and one of those times must be 15 minutes or longer. The other ones can be quickies. On one occasion per week they have to do something new, like, new room or position, and role-playing.

• 2 days a week kiss and cuddle – make out for at least 10-15 minutes and hangout for 30 minutes to an hour with each other with no distractions.

• And everyday, give each other 3 genuine thank you’s, appreciations or compliments.

This was also on that Steve Harvey page: Link to Sex Challenge

After reading the rules I’m grateful for some and not looking forward to others. The “something new” and “15 minutes” are not something I’m looking forward to. I read “15 minutes” and thought… Seriously… SERIOUSLY! 15 minutes!? wow… ill by happy to make it to 5 minutes.
I am glad about the kiss and cuddle days of the week. I’ve been missing that, my husband is the type that asks for sex, and when the answer is no he turns around and goes to sleep, doesn’t even think about cuddling or kissing. And if we do end up cuddling there is an underlying question lingering… the “If I do this will it lead up to sex?” question. Or the cuddling ends with him purposefully “poking me” and me getting annoyed.

Seems like a lot of work, But we said we’d start Monday. I’m also blogging about it as an extra push for me to go through with it.
I need to look at it positively, they say it will jump start my libido… – I’ll let you know in 30 days.

I plan on blogging about this daily during the “dirty 30”.


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