8/29/12 – The first year of marriage is NOT the hardest part

Dear Diary

We have a good strong relationship… “NOW” – It hasn’t always been this way.
You know how they say “The first year of marriage is the hardest”?
Well,

THEY ARE WRONG!

It’s the first year of living together that’s the worst. When my husband (“boyfriend” at the time) and I moved in together I moved streight out of my parents home into “Our” home.
And let me tell ya…

Not only do you have to learn to cook for yourself, clean the ENTIRE house, pick up after yourself, do your own groceries, make your own money, pay your own utilities… ect.

YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR TWO!!

Now, don’t get me wrong. My parents raised me to be independent, they didn’t baby me. But going from cleaning up your room to cleaning up your whole house is a big step.
Not to mention worrying about paying for bills…

My husband is not a slob… well not completely. But he’s also not one to pick up after himself… Besides going to college and working two jobs I found myself cleaning up HIS CRAP, washing HIS laundry, cooking OUR meals, and going crazy trying to juggle everything.

Of course school work is the first shit to hit the fan.

I think I flunked at least half of my classes that semester. With all the stress of doing so much all of a sudden, we decided we just NEEDED a dog… well I guess that was mostly me deciding…
OH! BUT NO! not any dog, a scared out of her mind, Doberman Pitcher. Whitney, I love that dog… wouldn’t trade her for the world.It did add more to the overwhelming responsibility though…

Like any human being, we are flawed..
We begin bickering and arguing about stupid things.
– “You didn’t pick up butter from Wal-mart!” – “FOR THE LAST TIME, don’t leave your nasty socks on the kitchen floor” -“Feed the damn Dog!”
NAG NAG NAG

This is the hardest part… not marriage, but living together.
– He snores
– Her long strands of hair get on EVERYTHING
– His shoes stink
– I found her period stuff!
The list goes on…

With all the nagging, bickering, and arguing going on you learn to communicate, solve problems, push each other’s buttons, and finally compromise.

Some people are plain and simple… not strong enough it breaks them. But for those of you who are strong enough and patient enough.
The years after living together are wonderful, totally worth it.
Plus, if other stressors come along it gets easier and easier to work through them.

Argue, bicker, compromise, and love each other. After this you will have a base to work from, to BUILD from.

John and I have been living together for going on three years now, now and then we still argue but that’s natural,
I was raised the European style
(at least that’s what I call it.) My brothers and I were expected to live together for a while before marrying.
I love that though. I don’t think you really get to know if a relationship will work until you live together for a while.
Of course there are other reasons why relationships end, but in my opinion, there would be less divorce if everyone
test drove the car before buying”.

Anyway, that’s my opinion.

I’m only human, right?

– Skylar

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